For had it ambition, or orationis pars

Your Sonne could have told you Quid est Ars1

Then So Quoth Sir Richard Gargrave2 by, and by

This mans ars speakes better then I.

’Tweere noe great grevance quoth Mr Hare3

155

The Surveyor heerein had his share4

Be patient gent quoth Sir Francis Bacon5

Ther’s none of us all but may be thus overtaken

Sylence quoth Bond6 thoug words be but wynde

Yet I much mislike of this motion behynd

160

For quoth hee it stincks the more you stirr it

Naturam Expellas surca licet usque recurrit7

Then gan sage Mounson8 silence to breake

And said this fart would make an Image speake

Then quoth Sir Dannett9 this youth is too bold

165

The priviledge of farting longs to us that are old

Then said Mr Tolderbury10I like not this passage

A fart interlocutory in the midd’st of a message

With all your Eloquence quoth Sir Richard Martin11

You cannot find out this figure of farting

170

Nor what part of speach save an interjection

This fart canne be in gramatique perfection

Up ryseth the speaker that noble Ephestion12

And said Gents I’le putt it to the question

The question once made, the yea’s did loose

175

For the Major part went cleere with the nose

Sir Robert Cotton well redd in old stories13

Conferring his notes with good Mr Pories14

Can witnes well that these are not fables

And yet it was hard to putt the Fart in his tables.15

180

Quoth Sir Thomas Lake,16 if this house be not able

To censure this fart I’le have it to the councell table.17

Quoth Sir George Moore18 I thincke it be fitt

That wee this fart to the Serjant Committ.

Not soe quoth the Serjant19 lowe on his knees

185

Farts will breake prison but never pay fees20

Why? yet quoth the clerke21 it is most true

That for a private fart a fee is my due

This scent growes hott quoth Mr Dyett22

Lett each man take his share, and be quiett

190

Looke (quoth Sir William)23 it had bene noe matter

If this fart weere butter’d & putt in a platter24

That these that had not their judgments well spent

Might have of the taste as well as the scent

Then Richard Buckley25 that angerie ladd

195

Rose swearing (Goggs wounds) & satt downe halfe madd.

Quoth Sir John Perrot26 it greives me at the hart

A private Man shold sweare for a publique fart

All of them concluded it was not well

To store upp this fart soe odious in smell

200

And merry Mr Hoskins27 swore ’twas but a stale28

To putt the plaine Serjant out of his written tale.

Fie, fye, I thinke you never did see

Such a thinge as this quoth Sir John Lee.29

With many more whome heere I omitt

205

In censuring this fart who busied their witt

Come come quoth the King libelling is not safe

Bury you the fart, I’le make the Epitaph.30

---

Source. Bodleian MS Malone 23, pp. 2-10

Other known sources. Musarum Deliciae 65; Le Prince d’Amour 93; Bodleian MS Ashmole 36-37, fol. 131r; Bodleian MS CCC. 328, fol. 94v; Bodleian MS Douce f.5, fol. 28r; Bodleian MS North b.24, fol. 28r; Bodleian MS Rawl. Poet. 26, fol. 7r; Bodleian MS Rawl. Poet. 117, fol. 196v; Bodleian MS Rawl. Poet. 160, fol. 157v; Bodleian MS Rawl. Poet. 172, fol. 8r; Bodleian MS Sancroft 53, p. 53; Bodleian MS Tanner 306, fol. 254r; BL Add. MS 4149, fol. 213r; BL Add. MS 10309, fol. 123r; BL Add. MS 15227, fol. 17v; BL Add. MS 23229, fol. 16r; BL Add. MS 30982, fol. 33r; BL Add. MS 34218, fol. 20r; BL Add. MS 44963, fol. 19v; BL Add. MS 58215, fol. 190v; BL MS Egerton 2230, fol. 25r; BL MS Egerton 2725, fol. 45v; BL MS Harley 4931, fol. 10r; BL MS Harley 5191, fol. 17r; BL MS Sloane 1394, fol. 172r; BL MS Sloane 1489, fol. 25r; BL MS Sloane 1792, fol. 104v; BL MS Sloane 2023, fol. 59r; BL MS Stowe 354, fol. 43r; BL MS Stowe 962, fol. 66v; HRO, Malmesbury Papers, 9M73/G3(b); TCD MS G.2.21, p. 409; Beinecke MS Osborn b.197, p. 99; Folger MS J.a.2, fol. 81r; Folger MS V.a.160, p. 79; Folger MS V.a.275, p. 101; Folger MS V.a.322, p. 226; Folger MS V.a.399, fol. 248v; Huntington MS HM 198, 1.3; Rosenbach MS 239/22, fol. 42v; Rosenbach MS 1083/15, p. 109; Rosenbach MS 1083/16, p. 9

C1iv

Quick links to other poems within this section

Select page here Scroll here C0. Introduction C1i Downe came grave auntient C1ii C1iii C1iv C1b Reader I was borne

¹   orationis pars...Quid est Ars: playing on the titles of the popular school Latin grammar books, Aelius Donatus’s De partibus orationis ars minor and De partibus orationis ars maior. Literally: “orationis pars” (speaking part); “Quid est ars” (what is art). <back>

²   Sir Richard Gargrave: Gargrave sat in 1597, and took his seat in the 1604 Parliament on 7 April 1606. <back>

³   Mr Hare: John Hare sat in the 1572, 1584, 1586, 1589, 1593, 1597, 1601 and 1604 Parliaments. <back>

⁴   The Surveyor...share: the copyist has probably misread “Purveyor” for “Surveyor” (so the line could allude to complaints about the avarice of purveyors). A more plausible variant has: “yt wer noe grievance quoth Mr Hare / If this knave Purveyor of this Fart had a share” (Bodleian MS Tanner 306, p. 256). Hare was an effective leader of the Commons in putting the legal case against purveyance in James’s first Parliament (Croft, “Parliament” 13-14, 23-26). He died in 1613. <back>

⁵   Sir Francis Bacon: Bacon, a member of Gray’s Inn, sat in the 1581, 1584, 1586, 1589, 1593, 1597, 1601, 1604 and 1614 Parliaments. Bacon’s activities as Attorney-General and a tract he published on duelling, The charge of Sir Francis Bacon, knight, his Majesties Attorney Generall, touching Duells, upon information in the Star-chamber against Priest and Wright. With the Decree of the Star-Chamber in the same cause (1614), inform a couplet in a variant: “Quoth fyne fraunces Bacon, yf it were not in this place / this farte maight bee prooved a starr Chamber case ” (BL MS Stowe 354, fol. 43v). Another couplet seems to allude to his fall from grace following his impeachment in 1621: “why what doe you meane so much to take on / he was fedd with swynes flesh quoth sir Frauncis Bacon” (Rosenbach MS 1083/15, fol. 56v). <back>

⁶   Bond: John Bond sat in the 1601 and 1604 Parliaments. A physician and classical scholar, Bond (d. 1612) published commentaries on Horace (1606) and left notes on Persius which were published posthumously in 1614. <back>

⁷   Naturam...recurrit: allusion to Horace, Epistles 1.10: “Naturam expellas furca tamen usque recurret” (“Drive Nature out with a Pitchfork. She’ll be back again.”). <back>

⁸   Mounson: Sir Thomas Monson sat in the 1597, 1604 and 1614 Parliaments. He was accused of complicity in the Overbury poisoning in 1615, and remained in the Tower until 1617; however, “sage” Monson did not break his silence over his part in the Overbury murder, and he was eventually released without standing trial (Bellany, Politics 77). <back>

⁹   Sir Dannett: Thomas Damett (or Dannett) sat in the 1584, 1586, 1593, 1601 and 1604 Parliaments. He died in 1618. <back>

¹⁰   Mr Tolderbury: Christopher Tolderrey sat in the 1604 Parliament. <back>

¹¹   Sir Richard Martin: Martin, a member of the Middle Temple, sat in the 1601 and 1604 Parliaments, and was permitted by the House to make a speech on behalf of the Virginia Company, as the Company’s counsel, in the 1614 Parliament. He was one of the leading wits in a tavern company that met at the Mitre and Mermaid taverns, and was highly regarded for his oratorical skills. After he delivered the oration to James I on his 1603 entrance into London, he was awarded the unofficial title of “London’s Oracle”. He died in 1618. <back>

¹²   the speaker...Ephestion: the Speaker of the Commons, Sir Edward Phelips, a member of the Middle Temple, sat in the 1584, 1586, 1593, 1597, 1601 and 1604 Parliaments. Phelips was the key spokesman for Robert Cecil, Earl of Salisbury, in James’s first Parliament, which led in 1610 to protests over a conflict of interests. He may have acted as a patron of the wits, given his sponsorship of Thomas Coryate, and close ties with Hoskyns, Brooke, Martin, and William Hakewill, who were frequent guests at his dining table (Coryate, Traveller 8-9). He secured a seat for Donne in the 1614 Parliament. The title given to Phelips, “noble Ephestian”, equates the Speaker with the classical orator. He died soon after the dissolution of the 1614 Parliament, having fallen into deep disgrace with the King for the part his son and “one of his cheife consorts and minions”, John Hoskyns, played in the “Addled” parliament of 1614 (Chamberlain, Letters 1.540, 556). <back>

¹³   Sir Robert...stories: Cotton, a member of the Middle Temple, sat in the 1604, 1624, 1626 and 1628 Parliaments. He was a well-known antiquary, a founding member of the Society of Antiquaries, and an advisor to Henry Howard, Earl of Northampton and James I on parliamentary matters. He was a friend of Jonson, Holland, Martin, Brooke, Donne, Goodyer, Jones and Richard James, among others. <back>

¹⁴   Mr Pories: John Pory sat in the 1604 Parliament, taking his seat in 1605. He was a close friend of fellow antiquaries Cotton and Sir Walter Cope. <back>

¹⁵   putt the Fart...tables: i.e. document the fart in his table book. Many copies of “The Parliament Fart” end either with these couplets, or add the Speaker putting the fart to the vote. <back>

¹⁶   Sir Thomas Lake: Lake sat in the 1593, 1601, 1604, 1614 and 1626 Parliaments. He was a member of the Elizabethan Society of Antiquaries, and was appointed Latin Secretary to James in 1603, and Keeper of the Records at Whitehall in 1604. After being appointed Secretary of State in 1616, he spectacularly fell from power (see Section J). <back>

¹⁷   if this house...table: this reference could allude to events in 1607 or 1614. When Christopher Piggot, the member for Buckinghamshire, made an intemperate speech against the Scots in February 1607, the Commons initially failed to punish him, and he was only sent to the Tower after James I intervened. Some versions of the poem include the following couplet “qth Sir Edw: Hobbie alleadgd with the spiggot,/Sir if you fart at the union remember Kitt Piggott” (BL MS Stowe 962). Lake was made a Privy Councillor in 1614, and this couplet would have gained additional resonance with the Commons’ failure to censure members, including John Hoskyns, for inflammatory speeches made during the 1614 Parliament; hence the need for the Privy Council to intervene, as it did following the 1614 dissolution (see Section G). <back>

¹⁸   Sir George Moore: the poem’s second reference to More. <back>

¹⁹   the Serjant: Roger Wood, appointed Serjeant-in-Ordinary in 1588, and Serjeant-at-Arms to the Speaker in 1590. <back>

²⁰   Farts...fees: possibly a reference to the fact that prisoners paid fees to their keepers. A related couplet refers to the gratuities that were sometimes paid to the Serjeant and servants by individuals or the city guilds in order to further business in Commons, see C1i note 31. <back>

²¹   the clerke: the poem’s second reference to Ralph Ewens, Clerk of the Commons. <back>

²²   Mr Dyett: Anthony Dyott, a member of the Inner Temple, sat in the 1601, 1604 and 1614 Parliaments. He made a “long, learned” speech on the illegality of purveyance in 1606, spoke in support of the Union, and opposed impositions in this Parliament. He died in 1622. <back>

²³   Sir William: there are a number of candidates for “Sir William” in the 1604 Parliament, including those referenced elsewhere in other copies: Sir William Maurice, Sir William Lower, Sir William Waad, Sir William Paddy, and “Sir William Strowde of Sommersetshire” (BL Add. MS 23229, fol. 16v). <back>

²⁴   If this fart...platter: probably refers to some office held by “Sir William”, possibly within one of the royal households; however, this has not been identified. <back>

²⁵   Richard Buckley: Sir Richard Bullheley, a member of Lincoln’s Inn, sat in the 1563, 1604 and 1614 Parliaments. He died in 1621. “Angerie” might be a mistranscription of “Anglesey”; a variant has, “Then sayed Sir Rich: Buckley that Anglice Ladd / rose upp in a fury and rose upp halfe madd” (BL Add. MS 34218, fol. 21v). <back>

²⁶   Sir John Perrot: James Perrot, a member of the Middle Temple and friend of John Hoskyns, sat in the 1597, 1604, 1614, 1621, 1624 and 1626 Parliaments. In 1614 he was summoned before the Privy Council after a violent attack on impositions which blamed James’s mismanagement of royal finances, and in 1621 he was outspoken in his attacks on popery and monopolists. <back>

²⁷   Mr Hoskins: John Hoskyns, a member of the Middle Temple, sat in the 1604 and 1614 Parliaments. He was one of the lawyers in the Commons who studied the prerogative, alongside his friends Brooke, Hakewill, James Whitelocke, Martin, Sir Robert Phelips and others; and he was a vocal critic of James’s Scottish bedchamber in 1610 and 1614 (which led to his imprisonment following the dissolution of the latter Parliament). He was a leading wit in the tavern companies that met at the Mitre and Mermaid, and his poetry circulated widely in manuscript (see Section G). Other couplets on Hoskyns include: “Why quoth Sir John Hoskynes what needes this adoe / If youle bury the Farte I make an Epitaph therto” (BL Add. MS 34218, fol. 21r); “Gentlemen quoth Hoskins, to lible it is not safe, / Let the Fart bee buried, Ile make the Epitaph” (BL Add. MS 58215, fol. 189r); “Well quoth Mr Hoskins, I dare pawne my nose / The gentm: mente it noe farther than his hose / And yet not within that statute de dovis / Because a farte is nulli in bovis” (BL MS Sloane 1489, fol. 25r). <back>

²⁸   stale: lure or trap. <back>

²⁹   Sir John Lee: the poem’s second reference to Lee. <back>

³⁰   Come...Epitaph: the closing couplet perhaps alludes to James’s poem attacking those who wrote libels ( “O stay your teares yow who complaine”); however, other versions attribute the warning to Hoskyns. Endings of the poem are many and varied: some versions put the fart to the vote; another brings the poem back to the issue of the Union which Ludlow’s fart interrupted: “When all had well laughed they Concluded by art / That Parliaments of late wear subject to a fart / Yet they better likte the tricke of the Chollicke / Then the former blast of the Powder Catholique / And thus the parliament, in mens opinion / Hath turnde to a fart the mater of union!” (Bodleian MS Rawl. Poet. 117, fol. 194r; cf. BL MS Sloane 1394, fol. 173v-74r). <back>